365 Reasons I Married My Husband (Reasons 183-189)

The reason I married my husband is…

183. …he’s busy, but he’s never too busy for me. Last week I told you guys that I liked having a husband who was a busy person. While I like that we both have a lot going on, I love that my husband always has time for me. It doesn’t matter what he has to cancel, push back or set aside, I know that I am his main priority.

184. …he conspires with my mother on birthday and Christmas gifts. So my hubby and my mom have been talking about my birthday gift…I have 4 more days until I am 30 years old by the way…and the only reason I know this is because my dear mommy can’t keep a secret. Apparently, my mother wants to get me something special for my birthday so she has called on my husband’s help. I do appreciate the fact that he was willing to help her do something special for me. I still don’t know what it is and it’s killing me, but he’s such a sweetie for keeping a secret.

185. …he is an amazing writer. My husband can express himself written as well as verbally, but he has written me some of the most beautiful love letters that I’ll cherish forever and ever.

186. …he jokes about the most ridiculous things. My husband and I both have pretty odd senses of humor. When my hubby wants to be exceptionally silly he’ll insist that he wants a phoenix or a unicorn for Christmas or his birthday. When he’s being silly I usually play along, telling him that those are mythical creatures to which he responds, “No they’re not. You can call Harry Potter and see if he’ll sell you one from the movie.” Dork, yes, but he’s my dork.

187. …he puts things back when he moves them. With the exception of his shoes, hubby is very good about returning our common household items like scissors, Febreeze bottle and other stuff we both use pretty often back to its rightful location. It drives us both crazy to be running around looking for an item we both swear the other used and didn’t put back, so we created this rule that if you’re going to use it…put it back.

188. …is capable of handling his own schedule especially when it involves me. I have never had to remind my hubby of doctors appointments, to pay his car registration, what time we have to leave the house in order to get somewhere on time, none of that. He’s pretty well organized, thank goodness. I’d hate to be the type of nagging wife who has to keep running behind my husband saying, “Honey, we were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago” or “Honey, don’t forget you have to pick me up tomorrow.” Hubby has it all under control.

189. …he hates to be late to anything. I love this about this man because I too hate to be late to anything. We both believe: “To be early is to be on time. To be on time is to be late. To be late is unacceptable.” This is just a little something we both picked up in college, along with the tagline, “Reading is fundamental.”

I hope you’ve enjoyed this week’s reasons I married my hubby. In case you’ve miss any of the other reasons you can check them out below. Have a blessed day!

Reasons 1-7

Reasons 7-14

Reasons 15-21

Reasons 22-28

Reasons 29-35

Reasons 36-42

Reasons 43-49

Reasons 50-56

Reasons 57-63

Reasons 64-70

Reasons 71-77

Reasons 78-84

Reasons 85-91

Reasons 92-98

Reasons 99-105

Reasons 106-112

Reasons 113-119

Reasons 120-126

Reasons 127-133

Reasons 134-140

Reasons 141-147

Reasons 148-154

Reasons 155-161

Reasons 162-168

Reasons 169-175

Reasons 176-182

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Before You Get Married, Think About Studying a New Language…It Helps the Marriage!

If you’ve ever read Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages” (and you should) then you know that God created humans, in his image, to be responsive to and to express love in five different languages. Those languages are acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch and receiving gifts. If God has a primary love language, it must be acts of service. God asks us to demonstrate our love for Him by serving Him thereby bringing glory to His Kingdom. As Christians, our hearts and minds should be set on living a life that aims to hear those words of affirmation, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” God desires a personal relationship with each of us where we spend quality time in prayer and the study of His word. We continually receive His gifts, often underserved, in the form of blessings, grace and mercy. We too are expected to offer the gift of the first 10% of our income back to the Lord as a show of faith, obedience and sewing into the Kingdom. And lastly, when God sent His son, Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world, to Earth there were those who believed so strongly in His power to lay hands on the sick and perform other miracles that one woman found it well enough to simply touch the hem of his garment to be made whole. Although we don’t physically touch God today, He has given some the power of healing touch through His anointing. God also gave people a way to demonstrate love for one another through physical touch. Married couples got especially lucky because God not only desired a show of love through physical touch, but He created the sacred act of sexual intercourse as a means of expression of physical intimacy within the covenant of marriage.

Now that we recognize that even God perceives and expresses love within these languages, we need to ask ourselves some questions about how we express and perceive love within our marriages. Do you hear the words “I love you” from your spouse, but not really “feel” loved? Do you know what your spouse’s love language is? Do you know what your own love language is? If you were to find that your love language is different from that of your spouse, how hard would you willing to work to make sure that you are exhibiting love in the way your spouse perceives it?

Let’s look at a real case study. The names of the participants have been changed to protect the guilty. :) Julia and her husband Jeffrey have two different primary love languages. Julia’s primary love language is acts of service. This means that Julia feels loved when her husband does things that are thoughtful such as starting dinner if he gets home first, taking her car in for service and picking up after himself. She feels loved because her husband is creating a sense of security for her that says, I care for you and I want to make your day easier. Jeffrey’s primary love language is physical touch. He feels loved when his wife reaches out to hold his hand, kisses him when he arrives home from work or initiates sexual intercourse. He feels loved because these actions tell him his wife is attracted to him and he can count on her to be the one person with whom he can be vulnerable. Interestingly, the couple has a common secondary love language, quality time. This couple enjoy spending time together doing things like taking walks, trying new restaurants and watching their favorite television shows. They both feel loved because they enjoy the time they spend together in each other’s company. For them, spending quality time together it is a bonding experience.

Still, this couple have miscommunications in love language Rosetta Stone. Although the couple is aware of the one other’s primary love language, they learned something very important about themselves. The way Julia perceives love is very different from the way in which she displays love and the way Jeffrey perceives love is the same way he displays love. There in lies the problem. Although Julia perceives love in the form of acts of service, she only exhibited love for Jeffrey giving him gifts. She would always take time to pick up something special for Jeffrey at the grocery store or buy him a nice card just because and her actions seemed to be unappreciated. Why? Because Julia wasn’t communicating in a love language her husband could easily understand. Jeffrey perceives love primarily through physical touch and it is second nature for him to exhibit love in the form of physical touch. Jeffrey is often disappointed and frustrated that Julia is not as affectionate as he, especially during times when she is particularly stressed. Whenever Jeffrey is stressed, physical touch always makes him feel better, so he could not understand why his attempts to communicate love in this manner were unrequited. Jeffrey isn’t speaking a language Julia can easily understand.

While the one love language that the couple do share make it easy for them to express and receive love in this area, this couple has to be intentional about demonstrating love in the other’s primary love language. Julia and Jeffrey had to learn that loving someone requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. They have learned that loving someone means you have to be willing to place your needs aside for the benefit of the other person. While it may come naturally for Julia and Jeffrey to demonstrate love in a particular language, truly loving someone requires you to begin to speak their language. While this couple does believe that love consists of a feeling, they believe much more that love is primarily an action. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 tells us every thing that love is, and everything that love is not. What we find, if we evaluate the text, is that love, is a verb (a class of words in a language that serve to indicate the occurrence or performance of an action). Even Christ tells us that in order to demonstrate our love for Him we must obey -a verb- his teachings (John 14:23). This means what we can’t simply walk around saying we love Christ and not demonstrate love in the way He perceives it; through the act of obedience.

While Julia and Jeffrey have to be intentional about the way in which they go about demonstrating love to one another, the act of being intentional teaches them how to be obedient to God’s plan for marriage. The word of God says that a married couple is to submit themselves to one another out of reverence to God (Ephesians 5:21). What this means is that they should consider the feelings and love needs of one another just important as they’ve consider their own. This is what is required for the development of a couple into a state of oneness or one flesh. Because the couple in our case study love God, they do their best to be intentional about loving one another in a way that allow them to submit to each other in love. They do this by making an effort to speak the other’s love language.

Now that they’ve adjusted their view of what it means to love, Julia understands that if she wishes to display love in a language her husband can understand, she should come home and greet him with a big hug and kiss, not a Hallmark greeting card. Jeffrey now understands that if he wishes to display love in a language his wife can understand, especially when she is particularly stressed, he should volunteer to stop by the store on his way home from work or do some other thoughtful action for his wife. Julia and Jeffrey have found that when they can see the other putting forth the effort to make the other feel loved in their primary language, they develop an increased desire make their partner feel loved in their love language. The understanding of and effort to love their partner within their partner’s love language has caused Juila and Jeffrey to feel that their love for one another is reciprocated. They have become intentional about making the effort to exhibit love in the other’s language. Julia and Jeffrey don’t always get it right every time and it’s still a ton of effort on both of their parts, but they try to remember that even when they aren’t communicating properly they are still responsible for putting forth their best effort to submit to one another in love, out of reverence to God.

If you are interested in assessing your own love language I strongly suggest you head on over to Gary Chapman’s website and take a love language assessment test. It only takes a few minutes. You can do it alone or with your spouse. I guarantee the more you understand about how you and your spouse communicate love, the sooner you can begin to start speaking a common language.

What is your primary love language? Is it different from that of your spouse? What can a couple do to make an effort to love each other in the other’s love language? Do you perceive love in one language, but find yourself displaying love in another? Why do you think you do that?

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365 Reasons I Married My Husband (Reasons 176-182)

As most of my readers know, I began a year long testimony of God’s love and faithfulness in sending me the man he designed to be my husband. For those of you all who are stopping by for the first time I say welcome and I hope you are inspired to trust God to write your love story. I began this journey 26 weeks ago when I decided that I’d not only honor my husband, but also honor God by demonstrating that I appreciate even the smallest things He had in mind when he created my husband. I’m planning to list 365 reasons I married my husband. I’ll list 7 reasons, every Thursday which totals one reasons for each day of one calendar year. This week we hit the halfway mark which means we have 183 reasons or 26 more weeks to go. Creating this list has certainly been a challenge for me, not because there aren’t enough things to say about my husband, but because there are too many things that I could say about him. The fact that I could come up with possibly 1000 reasons I married my husband makes me feel abundantly blessed that God saw fit to join us together. Thank you Lord!

So moving right along…the reason I married my husband is…

176. …he pays attention to me. If we are out to dinner and his phone rings, he ignores it. He doesn’t constantly poking around on his iPhone but engages me in conversation. I love that he respects our time together and doesn’t let any distractions come between us.

177. …he’s always busy. I know that sounds strange, but it’s really not. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who has a lot more free time that you do, you can probably say that that put a lot of strain on the relationship. Someone probably felt neglected at some point. My husband and I are both busy people. He is trying to take advantage of career opportunities and I am trying to finished up a Ph.D. in cell and molecular biology. We do make time for one another, but it’s nice that we have other things going on in our lives besides each other. Plus, I’ve never been attracted to men with too much idle time.

178. …I trust him to make decisions for us on his own. Guess what?!?! We’re moving and the timing couldn’t be more inconvenient because I am so busy with school lately. Hubby was charged with finding the place, checking it out and handling all of the negotiating while I was hard at work trying to understand the molecular mechanism behind FXTAS. My husband picked a great place that’s closer to work for both of us and I know I’m going to love living in our new place. I’m just so glad I married a man who was completely capable of taking care of all of the moving without any input from me. Good job Babe!

179. …he will never compromise his convictions. My husband really doesn’t have a grey area. To him, most things are black or white and right or wrong. He has the courage of his convictions because he fears the Lord. I don’t think any amount of money, fame or anything else could cause him to condone something that he knows in his heart is wrong.

180. …he loves me sacrificially. There is nothing in this world that my husband wouldn’t do for me or give up for my benefit. If I need it, I’ve got it and he doesn’t complain that he may have to go without in order to adequately provide for me. I’m not just talking about financially. I’m also talking about emotionally. My husband has had to give up his pride in order to become more vulnerable so that we can see eye to eye on certain subjects. He loves me in such a way that nothing comes before his wife, except his relationship with the Lord.

181. …he makes and effort to love me in my love language. As I’ve mentioned previously, we share a love language (quality time) which is a blessing. But, my primary love language is acts of service. My husband does so much to serve me and because of it I always feel loved. He provides for us, he picks up extra chores around the house when I am too busy with work and he makes sure all of our bills are paid on time. He does many things that I probably don’t even realize. Thank you hubby. If I don’t say it enough, I appreciate you.

182. …I believe everything he tells me. NO! Not like some foolish woman who falls for the okie doke! My husband has told me many things that he had planned to do and he has done all of them. When we were little he told me he was going to graduate from Howard University, he did. He told me he was going to become an engineer and he did. He told me he was going to marry me when we were teenagers…he did. He told me he was going to work hard to put us in a better financial position and all I have seen from him since we’ve gotten married is him working hard to put his plan into action. He does everything that he says he’s going to do and is definitely a man of his word.

If you’ve missed any of the other reasons I married my husband check them out below. Have a blessed day!!!

Reasons 1-7

Reasons 7-14

Reasons 15-21

Reasons 22-28

Reasons 29-35

Reasons 36-42

Reasons 43-49

Reasons 50-56

Reasons 57-63

Reasons 64-70

Reasons 71-77

Reasons 78-84

Reasons 85-91

Reasons 92-98

Reasons 99-105

Reasons 106-112

Reasons 113-119

Reasons 120-126

Reasons 127-133

Reasons 134-140

Reasons 141-147

Reasons 148-154

Reasons 155-161

Reasons 162-168

Reasons 169-175

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365 Reasons I Married My Husband (Reasons 169-175)

The reason I married my husband is…

169. …he hangs he toilet paper over not under. Every person has weird quirks and I am no exception. I like for the toilet paper to hang over not under. I mentioned this to hubby one time when he hung the paper under. He looked at me like there are more things in life to worry about than toilet paper direction, but he’s always made sure to hang the paper over not under.

170. …he’ll say it to your face. Do not ask my husband a question if you don’t want a truthful and honest answer. If he has a problem with you, you’ll know it. He’s not one to be nice in your face and talk about you behind your back.

171. …he’s always cool, calm and collected. Hubby is very good at dealing with stressful situations. He rarely ever lets things get to him. He’s told me that no matter how difficult a given situation, he always feels like he can win. Confidence in a man is so attractive.

172. …he’s courteous. If Hubby and I are sitting on the couch and he gets up to grab something from the kitchen he always asks if I want him to grab something for me.

173. …he doesn’t have selective hearing. Rarely do I ever have to nag hubby to do something repeatedly or fuss at him because he left out specific detail about something important. He makes me feel as if he is listening to me by not neglecting the small details.

174. …he reads instructions. I think I’m smart enough to do everything without reading the instructions. That’s probably why everything I try to put together takes 10 times longer. I admire hubby for reading the directions. I wish I could be more like him, but old habits die hard.

175. …he does his research. Hubby is willing to spend a good amount of time making sure he’s making good financial decisions. When he was planning to buy a car he read consumer reports and did research about gas mileage and maintenance costs. When he was searching for a new place for us to live he read reviews, researched the development of the neighborhood and made phone calls to ask specific questions about a property. He likes to make sure that he’s not only getting a good deal, but that he’s knowledgeable about his purchase.

There are 168 other reasons I married my hubby. Check them out below:

Reasons 1-7

Reasons 7-14

Reasons 15-21

Reasons 22-28

Reasons 29-35

Reasons 36-42

Reasons 43-49

Reasons 50-56

Reasons 57-63

Reasons 64-70

Reasons 71-77

Reasons 78-84

Reasons 85-91

Reasons 92-98

Reasons 99-105

Reasons 106-112

Reasons 113-119

Reasons 120-126

Reasons 127-133

Reasons 134-140

Reasons 141-147

Reasons 148-154

Reasons 155-161

Reasons 162-168

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365 Reasons I Married My Husband (Reasons 162-168)

The reason I married my husband is…

162. …he’s the only man for which I’d gladly fix a plate of food. When I was growing up, I was taught that a person should do things for themselves. I was taught that it was archaic and symbol of submission for a woman to serve her man. What I learned later on is that marriage is about service; service to God and service to your spouse. Marriage is also about being courteous and nice. I don’t have a problem making hubby a plate for three reasons (1) he make my plate all the time, (2) I like taking care of him and (3) I’m not afraid to submit to my husband (I’m afraid not to!). My husband has never once asked me to make his plate, but I always offer…I ask him to make mine all the time. Go figure.

163. …he trusts in the Lord. I can’t tell you what it has meant to have a spouse that will encourage you in your faith. When I’m feeling down and carrying a burden, hubby reminds me that what I lack is faith and trust in God. He reminds me that not only am I a continuous recipient of God’s grace, but that I also am highly favored. Thanks hubby for reminding me to trust in the Lord with all of my heart and to give my burdens to Him.

164. …he is not an advocate of wasting time. My husband probably has some of the best time management skills I’ve seen anyone display. Now, I don’t know from where he pick these skills up because he certainly didn’t have any in high school or college (that’s story in itself…oh the memories of me wanting to shake him are coming back). I attribute his new found sense of time management to manhood. I’ve literally watched hubby go from adolescence to adulthood and I now see a person who wants to make the most of his free time to be productive.

165. …he changed almost overnight. Sometimes women mature sooner than men and with that, we tend to be more certain about what we want and whom we want. There were signs of immaturity (carelessness with finances, late nights out in the nightclubs, your typical carefree college student mentality, etc…) on his part that told me that he wasn’t ready to be anybody’s husband…especially not mine. Once hubby moved to join me in Houston things changed rapidly and it was as if he began to personify 1 Corinthians 13:11. He became much more attentive and even took on husband responsibilities even though we weren’t even engaged (paying bills, auto repairs, spiritual leadership, etc). I prayed that God would develop my future husband so that he’d be ready when the time came. It seems like this light clicked on in hubby’s head and then he became the man that I knew God created for me. Most of all he’s becoming the man God wants him to be.

166. …I decided I could deal with his flaws. How many women marry a man with flaws or traits that she hopes will change some day? How many women marry a man and realize 7 years in that that bad habit he has is never going to change and there is nothing you can do about it, but it’s driving you crazy and you don’t think you can stand to be in this marriage anymore? It could be anything…he’s not affectionate enough, he doesn’t help with housework, he’s irresponsible with money, he doesn’t spend enough time with you. Before I decided to marry hubby I asked myself some honest questions: Can I accept this man for who he is? Is there anything I want to change about him? Do you think there is another man out there with whom you wouldn’t have to experience certain character flaws? Can I deal with certain character flaws until death…because I don’t believe in divorce? My husband has two character flaws that drive me batty and they are…he leaves his shoes all over the house and he’s always hot (so our house is always freezing). These aren’t really even flaws, but I’ve made a conscious decision not to let his inconsiderateness for my tripping over his shoes in the night or that fact that I am usually shivering with tons of blankets get in the way of our marriage. I find comfort in knowing exactly what to expect from my husband and he’s never shown me anything different.

167. …he gives me space. Space is oh so important to me because I my mother’s only child. Growing up, when I wanted to alone I simply went into a different room for some silence. I even had the luxury of going into my own bedroom and being left to read or watch tv or whatever, but I could spend some time alone. My husband grew up with a house full of people (mostly women) and is perfectly fine having someone around all of the time. Well that is not the case for me. Hubby is totally understanding of my need to have some me time and doesn’t take it personally. I like that we can be in separate rooms doing our own thing and not feel like one of us is ignoring the other. Everyone needs space and some couples are still trying to figure out how not to take this personally.

168. …his kisses. Enough said. ;)

If you’ve missed  single reason that I married my husband you can check them all out below:

Reasons 1-7

Reasons 7-14

Reasons 15-21

Reasons 22-28

Reasons 29-35

Reasons 36-42

Reasons 43-49

Reasons 50-56

Reasons 57-63

Reasons 64-70

Reasons 71-77

Reasons 78-84

Reasons 85-91

Reasons 92-98

Reasons 99-105

Reasons 106-112

Reasons 113-119

Reasons 120-126

Reasons 127-133

Reasons 134-140

Reasons 141-147

Reasons 148-154

Reasons 155-161

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