T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak to Your Spouse

In our anger we can say some things we don’t necessarily mean. The problem is, the things we say can be difficult and even impossible to take back. We have the ability to do irreparable damage to our marriages with our words. We like to put the blame on men for speaking before they think, but truth be told, I think women are guilty of this as well. We should do our best as husbands and wives to speak a language of love and respect to one another. This is one of the many things we as Christian married couples can do to please God. Learning to speak a language of love and respect might possibly be one of the hardest things you ever do, but if you keep in mind the consequence, there is definitely an incentive. Every married couple will have disagreements. And, we have to admit that at some time or another our spouse said something we thought was so stupid, so annoying, so rude, so insensitive, so petty, the list goes on and on, that we responded by using hurtful words towards them. The way we respond to our spouse during a disagreement is important to God and therefore it should be important to you. He said, in our anger, sin not (Psalm 4:4 and Ephesians 4:26). I want to share with you something I was reading this morning in a book entitled, “How to Find God: Living Water for Those Who Thirst.” Its about refraining from idle speech. This reference was “in general,” but we could most definitely benefit from practicing this principle within our marriages.

Read Matthew 12:35-37. The verse preceding this text says, “For whatever is in your heart determines what you will say.” Your speech mirrors the condition of your heart. Your heart represents you innermost thoughts, desires, and emotions. If your heart is filled with bitterness, your speech will be tainted by it. If it is filled with the love of God, your words will also express that love. If we take seriously Jesus’ warning about being held accountable for our idle words, then we should not only weigh our words, but we should also examine our hearts – the source of our speech. Here is a good rule to apply before you speak (to your spouse or anyone for that matter): THINK.

T- Is it true?

H-Is it helpful?

I-Is it inspiring?

N-Is it necessary?

K-Is it kind?

If the content of what you want to say doesn’t pass this test, you really do not need to say it. Otherwise, you will have to give an explanation when you stand before the Lord.

What reason will you give for your unloving speech towards your wife? What excuse can you provide for your disrespectful words toward your husband? Remember that by your words you will be justified, but also by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:37).

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9 Responses to T.H.I.N.K. Before You Speak to Your Spouse

  1. Sonia says:

    That was a beautiful post. My boyfriend and I have been arguing a bit lately, and we use to pride ourselves on the fact that we never argued. He always felt it was healthy, where I always thought it was stupid. The more I thought about it, I realized that Money was playing an evil part in why the arguments where there in the first place. Eventually we got real about our finances and now there is more understanding and we are working together to budget our finances and watch our spending. Thank you so much for this post, it reminded me to be careful where I place the blame.

  2. Shannon says:

    I love the THINK acronym. I'm going to put that on my fridge! Great blog, glad to have found you via #commenthour.
    My recent post I Know It- But I Don’t Practice It

  3. Pingback: Think Before You Speak — Discipline Project

  4. Miranda Hartrampf says:

    I absolutely love this post! I am going to have to write this in my house… i love sponge painting my walls with quotes and scriptures. lol.
    My recent post I Can See Me

    • The Student says:

      That sounds like a cool idea! If you do it, be sure to post a pic on your blog which is really cute I might add!!!

  5. @MsSacred says:

    Amen! There is power of life in death in the tongue. We absolutely must T.H.I.N.K. before we speak to the ones we love. Accountabilty to the Lord is something that can continue this habit.

  6. tracyann says:

    It is very important to think before you speak to your spouse so that you cannot create misunderstandings. Thanks for sharing this wonderful topic that can help relationship to stay better.
    My recent post ציוד למסעדות

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