In our anger we can say some things we don’t necessarily mean. The problem is, the things we say can be difficult and even impossible to take back. We have the ability to do irreparable damage to our marriages with our words. We like to put the blame on men for speaking before they think, but truth be told, I think women are guilty of this as well. We should do our best as husbands and wives to speak a language of love and respect to one another. This is one of the many things we as Christian married couples can do to please God. Learning to speak a language of love and respect might possibly be one of the hardest things you ever do, but if you keep in mind the consequence, there is definitely an incentive. Every married couple will have disagreements. And, we have to admit that at some time or another our spouse said something we thought was so stupid, so annoying, so rude, so insensitive, so petty, the list goes on and on, that we responded by using hurtful words towards them. The way we respond to our spouse during a disagreement is important to God and therefore it should be important to you. He said, in our anger, sin not (Psalm 4:4 and Ephesians 4:26). I want to share with you something I was reading this morning in a book entitled, “How to Find God: Living Water for Those Who Thirst.” Its about refraining from idle speech. This reference was “in general,” but we could most definitely benefit from practicing this principle within our marriages.
Read Matthew 12:35-37. The verse preceding this text says, “For whatever is in your heart determines what you will say.” Your speech mirrors the condition of your heart. Your heart represents you innermost thoughts, desires, and emotions. If your heart is filled with bitterness, your speech will be tainted by it. If it is filled with the love of God, your words will also express that love. If we take seriously Jesus’ warning about being held accountable for our idle words, then we should not only weigh our words, but we should also examine our hearts – the source of our speech. Here is a good rule to apply before you speak (to your spouse or anyone for that matter): THINK.
T- Is it true?
H-Is it helpful?
I-Is it inspiring?
N-Is it necessary?
K-Is it kind?
If the content of what you want to say doesn’t pass this test, you really do not need to say it. Otherwise, you will have to give an explanation when you stand before the Lord.
What reason will you give for your unloving speech towards your wife? What excuse can you provide for your disrespectful words toward your husband? Remember that by your words you will be justified, but also by your words you will be condemned (Matthew 12:37).